Ink Blood Session 1

My pen, my companion, my friend. It displays MY emotion
My heartbreak caused it to cry away
My happiness made the tears fade away
For the pain given and pain given away
My pen did cry away
Lessons learned made my pen flow
Many memories made my pen smile
The night can make it cry
Seemingly painful cries to the moon
From a beast mouth or the human mind
The pen just cries away
The death of friendship... physically. My pen cried away
Not just because of the menace in the night, but for the confusion within them
Character photo copied and distorted into something I aborted... the pen just cries away

Dear Lord

Its me BC
Good and faithful servant, BC
Fall short of your glory all the time, BC
Imperfect verbally and non verbally, BC
Imperfect consciously and unconsciously, BC
I’m the one you send those dreams to
You know the ones of about tears of blood and standing before millions speaking
Or the one when I speak the mountains move and when I turn around there’s a blinding light
The one u gave the gift of writing to
And the same one who fights everyday with himself and whatever jus to put pen to pad
I’m the one who says its hard to pray for himself
I’m the one who feels misunderstood by the world
The one who fell for that one girl and you took her from this earth.
The one who fell for that other girl and you took her away from my heart.
The one who fell for the next girl and I lost my heart…and had to find it again
I’m the one you send people to when they are hurting
The one who hates to ask for help, the one who hates to pray for himself
But will pray for an enemy
Sometimes I feel like I am meant to be a success with no equal
No counterpart, no partner to any capacity
I’m the one who thanks you for my loved ones every day
And I’m the same one who sometimes feels alone in every way
Wipe my own tears away
But not if they’re the tears from a clown
Or the tears from clown moments
I just let those type of tears burn

I’m the one whos dreams will come a reality
I’m a strong man, because of you
Because of you I can wake up each morning smiling, no matter what happened the night before
You are the reason for my smile
When I can’t go to anyone else I can come to you
This is my ministry…Writing
This is my passion, and I must redirect it toward you.
There’s nothing that anyone on this earth can do for me that you can’t do better
Dear Lord
I thank you for my breath
I thank you for peace of mind
I thank you for my family
I thank you for the love I have in my heart
I thank you for the dept of it, I thank you for the passion of it, I thank you for making my heart big enough to handle it
I thank you for my friends; I thank you for my life
I thank you for sending your Son to die for me so I can one day be in your Glory.

I’m sorry for depending on others for what you have offered me since birth…Love
I’m sorry that I don’t talk to you as much as I should…cuz I need you desperately
All the heartbreak and constant pain in my heart is overshadowed by the overwhelming love
So I’m gonna keep smiling, I’m gonna move toward who would have me to be
Cuz without you there is no me
So I’m gonna be a man an stand up and pray
I pray for all those Ive hurt…I pray they know im sorry
I pray for my own hurt, and know that it only lasts for a season
I pray for the women of the world, but a special prayer for my black women
For they are my visible queens.
Cuz from one I was birthed
I pray for the men of the world, but a special prayer for my black men
Cuz that’s the first kind ive seen
That’s the kind that has been there for me
For those closest to my heart and those farthest from it…I pray for you all
I pray for those who don’t believe in you
Because I know you believe in them
So as I sit here with a tear rolling down my cheek, that feels like a small piece of lava
I wipe it away lift up my head and smile…all because of you…Thank You

Not My Body

I have no choice, because it’s not my body
I can help create
Acts I can participate
But it’s not my body
No ring on your finger so you not obligated to call me
Tell me a week later and say you sorry
Or 8 months later have your momma contact me
Maybe just don’t tell me it all
Ain’t no Stat Quo nigga
Run away from me, I would’ve ran away wit cha
What do you need? I would breathe for you if I could
Carry this for you; or at least be there like a man should
But I didn’t get the option
Didn’t get a say so
Cuz I’m just a man
I can shed tears
I can morn
I can feel rage
But I can’t make a decision for you
Common courtesy would be nice
Simple notification would suffice
I guess im just a man and it ain’t my life
No grudges, no hate not even an ill thought
I was told to get over it and get over it I shall
I represent the brothas righteous and those who will see the fires of hell
The ones that care, but why should we?
Cuz after all, it’s not our body
BC tha Gent

Nutrition

I used to write all the time
Words flowing from my hand to the pen
Makin its way to the paper…via my brain
I used to make jaws drop and draws flop
All wit these words
Via my penis
I used to cause different forms of enlightenment
Make people question entitlement
Make men think about commitment…or lack there of
All wit these words
By way of my chest
Via my heart
I used to write about a partner
Standing beside me as we put one the whole armor
In the Lords honor
What would she be like?? …I would ask myself and God
How long would it last? Is it someone from my past?
Or must I search in this world so vast?
I would dream that I would look in my inbox and there she was
Then look at accepted and missed calls and there she is
All logged on my call log
If I had a myspace you would mabe be able to read about her in the blog
I dreamed I found this partner…she was the best friend I ever had
she fills me up, like no other can...so that part of me would no long be empty
Then woke up to reality, still hungry, but still trusting

I used to write when I woke up
I used to write what I dreamed about
Now my dreams are clouded with doubt
Nobody doubts me but I sometimes doubt myself
If you have seen my dreams,
You might say “Hell Naw”
That’s too much to accomplish
Too much Lord
How can I do all this and get all these people on one accord?
I used to stay up late and write. Because I didn’t wanna lose a thought
Now I just go to sleep and let the thoughts stay in the attic of my mind
Starving and cold
Bombarded with thoughts of failure
But so blessed that its beyond measure
I used to write about love, understanding, peace, etc.
I used to write at every spare moment
Now spare moments escape me
And it seems I only think of writing in moments I can’t spare
Different parts of me still starving...but still trusting

The RIGHT Direction

The RIGHT Direction

At keys and at direction
God placed a woman of affection
Gracefully accepting the responsibility of his reflection
She operates in his sanctuary
Orchestrating her admiration through praise and song
When God uses her, his presence is strong
An anointing that the Lord will never abandon
When she punches in, everyone knows he is her companion
Simply put she is an instrument of his praise
Songs of glory and respect of his ways
She is vessel used to prep the crowd for his word
Knowing that in the preparation there is word heard
She is the choir director known to many
When she does her thing only few are left in their seats, if any
But she does it for the admiration of he who keeps us from falling
Keeps us walking not crawling
She does it for the right reasons
She does it for the glory of he who changes the season
She does it for the Glory of the most high
Because he takes her higher than any man could ever do
And as she would say “Trust in the Lord and he will and he will always see you true.”
She is much more than just a choir director…She is also a Christian.

Tangent: A Radical Narrative

I am capable of some crazy things, but my faith refrains me.
Sustains me from the tick tock so i don't go boom,
retributions will round the corner soon.
Il take the undertaker under ground
and give him a tour of darkness with no sound.
because i am capable of it.
I have felt so low that i could scrape the corns off the devils feet
metaphorically feeling a pistols heat
ready to unleash
unleash a darkness inside me as a utensil
let me sketch it wit a mental pencil
pain scrapes together creativity
hurt from love with no immunity
im starting to get in a zone like a 2-3
developing personas and alias's so the fire ain't revealed in me
rabid dog wit a mouth foamin
zoning while lost souls moanin
burnin from that acid semen from the devils demons
nobody wants to see a beast
cuz the world is a platter and everyone that lies on it is part of the feast
felines in heat
those who prey on the weak
tourchin the globe wit flame from the young and old
my heart beats with unconditional love
but beware of the blackness that it's capable of
celebrate the celibate?
no we tease em for the hell of it
society distinctively pessimist.....

that’s all i got right now

My Black

MY BLACK
They say a white mans yes is a black maybe
I've been feelin it more and more as a black lately
Some might look and find the black tasty
made evident in history by the mixed rape baby
mixed wit cream and dark to make some masters crazy
Generations later it somehow made the black man lazy
The black man who can't seem to decipher the meaning of "Lets be hasty"
All the while tryin to decipher why "they" hate me

White men and white women pretty much all hate me
Hispanic cats and their hispanic mami's yea some hate me
My sistas yea with a passion they hate me
Not to mention the other me's, the ones that look like me, sound like me, run like me, dance like me, pray like me, even been chased like me...seems they even find ways to hate me

Using the black as an excuse to be lazy is crazy
For every 100 whites that hate me, one will help save me
for every 100 mami's that hate me, maybe one won't be able to find enough praise to equate me
for every 100 sistas that hate on me, maybe at least ten will have compliments they will wanna throw straight on me
For every 100 of my brothas to hate on me maybe at least 15 will show me the true meaning of black unity

I got a strong backbone at the south of me
though it may not be recognized by society as a majority
I respect those who respect me I encourage those who encourage me
though it may only be a minority
as for the majority I pray to the most high to touch their heart
so we all can make love to my Black
so I can give the love right back and walk side by side step by step in united harmony

The Realm of the Unmasked Righteous

Unmasked Righteous?? What do you mean by that?... Well.....

It's not to be afraid to do the right thing
To have enough courage to admit your mistakes
To help someone when they cannot help themselves
To know when to stop helping someone so they CAN help themselves
It's not in tha music you listen to
It's what you take from it
Does it touch your soul?
Does it enrich your spirit?
Will it do the same for others that will hear it?
It's not in how you dress
but if you're comfortable in your skin
and knowing that there is a line to cross
but thats you're own conviction within
It's not in tha car you drive
Or how much money you have
but how faithfull you are in the fruitfullness
that will be given from above
It's to see that you're more
than whats behind your respective stereotypical door
To dare to be different
To learn not to give excuses
To breathe with an intent on more than survival
but to breathe with the purpose of satisfying longevity
To know when to say no
It's knowing that you won't always make tha right decision
It's embracing FORGIVENESS
It's knowing when to move on

IT'S NOT BEING AFRAID TO ACKNOWLEDGE GOD
through good and bad
sickness and health
till death and beyond
Cuz you see its a marriage
of your spirit and tha most high
and know that we're all a work in progress
and that the evils of this world WILL die
Realizations of these things is what it means to be UNmasked.
Realizations of these things is what it means to be Righteous.

Step into the Realm...
Sword and Sheild

I Choose You

Well it seems to me that my soul has found its mate
but your heart seems reluctant to participate
cuz when i look in your eyes all I see is dispair
and you look into mine like what we shared was never there
So lady I jus look at it as if you don't care
But when i wanna creep u say "Don't take it there"
Confusion is makin me take ten steps back
but before i trip on the curb u scream "Come Back!"
Maybe we should've thought of this before the penetration
thought of all this confusion and all this complication
cuz all this turmoil is leading to my aggrivation
but through it all i kno u are my lasting inspiration
I kno in my heart we did it for a reason
This type of love is forever not jus for a season
so imma be here for you always you kno i ain't leavin
so i'm jus gone let it go and keep on believin
that what we doin is right, worth all the fightin
worth all your tears and the words that i'm writing
Cuz ur my bestfriend u kno we chained close forever
no matter tha cost or the problem we get through it together
We got somethin that can only b labled as unique
Unbreakable, beautiful and harder than concrete
So if love is blind, and some say thats true
I'll walk around in tha dark and still choose You

Base and Extension

All I've ever wanted to do…was find you
A wise man told me that happiness is best when shared
One can be happy alone but when shared can't be compared
Now you have me like an Old Testament lamb
A sacrifice… not only will I, but I will become one
I lay on my stomach
So u can walk on my back
So your feet won't get dirty
When I stand, you climb on my shoulders and look toward the clouds
Reaching up to the Sun, which is shining so bright
shining because of the SON
Without you I wouldn't be able to reach as far
I am your base and you are my extension
2 stacked as 1
When I need rest you ease off my shoulders to relieve the pressure
Only to press on them slightly in ways to make them re live their pleasure
Your feet on top of mine, still not feeling the grounds worth
I will never let them touch the dirt, cuz now I represent your earth
The breath from your lungs fills mine as you become the source of my air
All made possible by the creator of all things
I grab your hips and lift you off the ground
You wrap you legs around my waist
Chest to chest, eye to eye, lips to lips, and hearts adjacent
My heartbeat quickens and so does yours, as if racing for a finish
Then they beat stride to stride as come to the line with a photo finish, tied up forever

Mental Weaponry

I have a vast mental weaponry
Ammo loaded by my knowledge and my sanity
Calculated by my all-star sense of sinergy
I know poison's penetration has a big bounty set for me
I try not to fall in traps thats laid for me
Cuz I know its Jelousy
Or is it that same animosity runs parallel wit society
My mental weaponry makes it hard for it to swollow me
I'm blessed to have solid comradory
My BloodLine is thicker than high humidity
So if you step up to the line improperly
Repercussions will come blastin through your arteries
My weaponry takes me higher than equality
Past this earth's pollution next where a star should be
and when I move past tha stars I feel heavenly
and that vacinity is where I wanna be

Excerpt from Novel "Like Rain" by Brandon Victor

The blinds were closed and there was no activity in the house. There was no television on, no sound of a microwave, or the smell of a freshly cooked meal from the kitchen. There were no conversations or sounds of laughter to give the house a pulse. The sunlight barely sneaked past the blinds as if the rays were fighting to be free. There was no sound from water in the shower or from it being flushed into the sewer system. The residence was truly a representation of its single inhabitant.
Down the stairs on the living room couch laid Ivy. She was laying wide awake on her back staring at the ceiling with her sharp peircing eyes. She laid there in nothing but a white wife beater and grey sweat pants. The determined yet uneasy look on her face made her seem like she was having a conversation with herself in her mind. Her long wavy, jet black hair came draping over her shoulders to the bottom tip of her breasts. Her lips are full and round, always moist with lubricant and soft as rose petals. Her skin was smooth and shiny from the cocoa and shea butter applied just an hour earlier. Her complextion is slightly darker than a milk chocolate hershey bar.
She was silent and still, her breaths were slow and easy. On her lap laid a book. A diary to be exact, it was a diary that she has not wanted to open for quite some time now. It was leather bound and tan in color. It was an average diary that you would find at Borders or Wal-Mart. She just laid there and rubbed the leather gently with her fingertips. She did this for almost an hour, then a single tear begain to fall down the left side of her face. It was hot, almost scolding, like a small peice lava was secreting from her eye. She had held back the any formation of a tear for so long that this single one seemed to erupt through. With her right hand, she caught the tear before it fell to the suade pillow her head rested on. She raised her fingers to her face and observed the slight moisture that she saw. She rubbed it into her skin and gave a slight laugh. Ivy then sat up with her back resting on the arm of the couch. She gave out a weak sigh and whispered to her self... "To hell with it."
Slowly she reached her index finger under the lace that held the book together and popped it loose. Ivy gingerly opened the diary like she could do it harm if she opened it to quickly. The first page simply stated, This is the Diary of Trinity Louise Harris. After this text the page was as neat and as clean as if it were brand new. The first entry was on the following page, Ivy scanned to see how long she wrote but the date is what caught her eye. She had no idea that Trinity kept a diary this long... July 27, 2000

Swagg

I see people walkin with that" swagg" because they belong to tha divine 9 or other groups intertwined
all that is fine really but that "swagg" is not of mine

I see you Brotha walkin with that "swagg" because you got them ladies waiting in line
but still that "swagg" is not of mine

Or maybe Brotha you're walkin wit that "swagg" because of that 9 thats parked in yo behind
but neva oh brother never will that be that of mine

I see you Sista walkin with that "swagg" because you got things that shine
I see you Sista walkin wit that "swagg" because you got the power to make any man pull grapes from a vine..

I see you Sista walkin with a "swagg" because somebody yelled "Baby u so Fine!"
that's cool too but the motivation for that wouldn't come from tha lips of mine


I walk with a swagg because I have constant pain in my back, but i know I'm healed
I walk with a swagg because though I mess up, I kno my fate is sealed
I walk with a swagg because though I go thru tough times, my cup stays filled

I walk with a swagg because the world did not give me my Joy
I walk with a swagg because my family empowered me since I was a boy
I walk with a swagg because of love I've had tha priviledge to enjoy

I know some still walk with that swagg because of their net worth
I walk with a swagger because I know what my spirit is worth

I know some walk wit a swagger becuase they have a load of self confidence
That's good, but I acknowledge who gives me tha ablility to feel such confidence

I know some may walk wit a swagg because of tha man they love
I know some may walk with a swagg becuase of tha woman they love
but i walk wit my swagg because I acknowledge that above is tha beginning of all love

I know some walk wit that swagg because they're down here Wining and Dining
I'll walk wit my swagg in Heaven when some of them are down here Whining and Dieing

I walk with a swagg because i kno when its over that this flesh could be in hell Cracking and Frying
But I stay wit this swagg because I know my spirit will forever be flying and glorifying...

Cypher of Thoughts Session 1

Cypher of Thoughts First Addition

Be with you...?

I don't wanna be with you, Look I jus wanna breathe with you, You know start that heat with you, making those skin to skin beats with you, because I have a heart thats hurting and it doesn't have room for you, so in turn I couldn't even see myself caring for you, or givin tha least bit fuck about you...but then you don't give me a reason to do you? ha ha and you want me to be with you??

Somethin Real

Your smell quinches my thirst, and then tames my hunger. Your smiles is so warm that I wanna wrap myself in it. I look in your eyes and it's like watching my favorite movie...You ask why?? well its because you move me. They're so amazing that I look at them before I even acknowlege your ass or bust size. Your lips are sweeter than sweet. They make me wanna go any place you want me to with mine. Puttin my pressure on them places that will make you give a little whine. Ever so softly to hear soft moans caused by soft sensual pleasure. You see im not afraid to get on my knees, espcially since you already make me weak in them...INC

One Day

There will never come a day, you can take my love away. Because I long for you each day. When i look in your eyes i realize there is no price i won't pay. But then I breath sigh and realize that this love was just a lie but still I testify that mine will never die. At first you had me yearning for your love, but now sweety i'm jus learning from you love..INC

Explaining to do

Can we talk? I just wanna explain. I had too many bottles of that expensive champaign. Honestly baby I tried to come home without delaying but you should've hear the sweet words that she was saying. And honey the music was softly playing. I thought of every type of replelant and beleive me dariling i was spraying. Her company temporarily delayed my pain, and jus when i thought my cheating days were slain.. INC

Mental Turmoil

Through the toss and the turn, I toss so hard till the friction causes my skin to burn. I've had to learn to simmer down my emotion. Mostly my mind gives me the proper potion. The potion that puts the right actions in the proper motion. Never thought of turmoil that would cause my blood to boil and tern fertile soil into soil thats laid jus to spoil...INC

Inhale Exhale (Dream or Illusion)

Is this a dream? Or is it Illusion...We're movin forward no more back of tha Bus we trust in tha Lord and thru faith obsticles we crush....


As a shorty my father said son trust in the Lord
Strive to keep your faith and your family on one accord
And doin so would equipt my mind with torches
to burn down seemingly unmoveable forces
Gain confidence and stay above incompetence
Suck in knowledge so no excuse can be ignorance
Always filter my filter with a disinfectant that is effective
Gain friends and move as a collective
He said don't worry bout those who arent authorized
to be mezmorized by my sized up rhymes
Cuz my concepts and thought some jus can't realize
He then said son tell them wat they gotta do to recieve this prize
I tell them bow down on one knee and close your eyes
only then will the words be materialized
and after manifestation...clear your mind then rise
Inhale then Exhale thank tha Lord and dry your eyes

My Walk Home

Back in the summer of 2009 I had alot on my mind. Get off work at 10...I am posting this because i helped out a friend of mine by reading this piece to him. I thought i was writing this for me, but God had more than that purpose. To my family i know the vernacular may be a bit much but it is indicative to how I was feeling at the moment. So much grown since this time. Now join me on my walk home...

MY WALK HOME
9:35
Should I call for a ride?
May ask a co worker
Call a “ya dig” ask her the favor then work her
Well lemme think, naw then all my growth would be gone in a blink
Mind on the brink of thoughts that I thought were extinct
9:45 n still ain’t called for a ride
Walking around counting my strides until 9:55
Me...“Everything’s done, can I ride?”
Boss...“Sure bro, just bring the last forklift inside.”
“Cool”
I laugh cuz I said “ride” like I had one waiting out side.
Step out the door, Inhale and exhale
The thought of walking prevailed

So I started to foot it
Not in a rush so won’t push it
Insert the head phones, kick around a couple stones
Cicero bound
Random thoughts enter my mind, should I write it down? Shit I might
Jus gotta get under this street light
Pull out the pad and began writing to an unborn child
I know right…wild
On the side of the street I decided to let the pen and pad meet
They are familiar with each other
Like an infant is with the titties of the mother
So I write...

{I used to bend my elbow toward my face so many times, at times I should’ve been incarcerated
For the things I’ve said for the pussy penetration
Because I had no business
But that’s what was constantly on a young youthful wish list
Senseless.}

Back to reality my mind feeling gravity
A van backs toward me and a man asks me
“you need a ride my man, how far you gotta go”
I replied, “I’m just down the street I’m cool, there’s no rain or snow”
“But thanks I appreciate it” He said “No problem” then skated
Though I’m 23 years old, I’m much aware of danger
Grown as I am, shit I ain’t accepting no ride from a stranger lol
So I keep on footin it grasping on to my mini booklet

Back to the letter to the unborn

{Daddy likes to write, and like a student of mathematics I’m literary studious
Started of new to this
I was comparable to a small shack in the outback
Before I metamorphized into a literary high-rise
Still striving to be a skyscraper
Giving life to this paper
Becoming a pit-bull of society polishing my distinct instincts
You will find a passion too
don't get discouraged at first, it took me a while before i knew
And about your mommy, im sorry…}

Back to reality
gotta pay attention to the road before I become a casualty
Hit the gas station, standing in line patient
Hit the blocks to the house
Clearing my mind of the pain I been feeling lately
Thoughts get hazy
i had a heart attack without a clogged artery
and it did break me, well partially
don't feel for me if u reading this,
its all work of the enemy and i ain't feeding it
I been hurt so bad it feels like getting a tattoo from the inside out
But I never go down without
A fight or down right brawl
My God taught me to walk and not to go back to the crawl
So here I am world and u can’t take my joy
I been told since I was a boy
U didn’t give it to me
And u sure can’t take it away
So until my mission stops
I’l l Always be a literary and visionary RENAISSANCE

thanks for joining me during My Walk Home

P.S. To my unborn that I will never meet, I cherish the thoughts of u. To the ones i will meet in a future life state...we'll finish this discussion at a later date